, , , , , , , , ,

I just had an Ashley Madison moment of clarity. I am not looking for one thing or one person to be the answer to all of my sexuality. I am looking for different avenues of interest, and therefore not all dudes will be able to be that to me, nor will all hear all of my fantasies. Call me an eager beaver, but I have no interest in these dudes except for sex and therefore I feel no desire to share anything personal about myself with these dudes.

I tell them I’m married (I’m not). I tell them I’ve not had sex with anyone off AshMad yet (I’ve fucked 3 so far). I tell them I live in the city next to the one I live in (anonymity). I tell them I’m working full-time (I’m unemployed). I’m going by my middle name. None of them know the real me. They do not know very important details about me that define me. Without these details I am a mirage. It is all fantasy. My fantasy.

I create a persona that I feel is going to attract and acquire what I’m wanting. I want to fuck married men. Married men prefer to fuck married women so there’s no worry of a single woman falling in love with them, stalking them, ratting them out to their wife if they go away mad.

I adjust my age now. I didn’t used to. I am 40 and my profiles have always said 40, until this last one which states I am 35. I’m feeling a cougar pussy power up coming on. I’m going to take a younger man and run game on him like I’m his sex sensei. I’m going to take the way he fucks (and thinks is good) and bump it up a notch. He is going to lose his mind with the sexual experiences he has with me. I’m gonna change his life.

And I am now adjusting my sexual wants/needs/highs/lows. I have previously been mistaken that I should share freely what my true sexual interests are, all of them, thinking I will get them with one dude. I should not I realize. Dudes are dumb. They need something to focus on and too much info confuses them. Within each dude is an avenue that I can find fulfillment in. Whether it’s a sex act that he excels at, or he has a weakness that I can exploit and power up on, or an emotional high he gives me, or somewhere he takes me sexually that I have never been before.

I’m going to ravage Ashley Madison. I’m going to make her drop to her knees and swallow.