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Yeah, total hit to the ego of this newly empowered bad ass AshMad biotch.  Thought I had my shit on point.  Bad apples leaving sour taste in my mouth aside, I thought I was hot shit.  And then….(no and then-don’t I wish).

So, CableGuy, who has bee-lined to the front of the class as my star FWB threw me for a loop when he told me he was otherwise engaged one evening and couldn’t fuck me, he was fucking someone else.  OMG.

I was at almost tears.  WTF is going on with me?  Since he and I have started fucking I was the first to fuck someone else.  And felt no guilt about it.  FWB was around for the pre-lim and asked so he got told about my first full on threesome.  I could tell by his reactions that he wasn’t ok about it.  He was jealous.   Example: he asked, “Did he make you cum?”  Now what is the motivation behind asking that other than wanting to know if guy was better than him?  I felt a little high noticing him being jealous and didn’t play it up but felt all stiff about it.

Then he retaliated.  Well is about to.  His new fuck had to cancel and is rescheduled for tomorrow night.  It’s killing me.  And I hate myself for feeling so upset about it.  I wonder “why wouldn’t he want to fuck me instead?” and “what does she look like?” and “are her tits better than mine?” and “is her blowjob better than mine?”  Serious knife to the heart.  I had to bite back tears.  And I don’t like this.  I do not want anything more from CableGuy than what we have.  It’s not about that.  It’s that he would want other sex than me.  Period.  It’s really bothering me.

So I think this FWB shit isn’t for me.  It’s gonna cut and I specifically didn’t want that from the start.  Why do I feel this way?  Not happy.

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