Ashley Madison “member feedback”


In case you’re not familiar, Ashley Madison has a “member feedback” section that attaches to everyone’s profile.  Then, people who have had communication with each other can give their opinion on them.  (Some dudes have like 8 on each…eeew, slut)


I would love to see this upgraded to include the following:

  • Condom use: yes, no, fought me on it.
  • Manners: does he lose his pants and then lose his manners?
  • Penis size/shape: to be able to give a number of inches, and report any oddities (curved, small head, not symmetrical)
  • Sexual performance: did he last 10 seconds? is he all hammering and no heart and soul?  was he selfish in bed?  was it one-sided as to what was included and what positions were done?
  • Made me cum: did he?  did he know exactly how to read your responses and adjust?  did he even try?  did he think he did when he didn’t?

How about a forum for the ladies so they can talk shit.


Talk dirty to me

Claudia was fucking her long-term FWB and as he was about to grand finale and cum he said to her, “Alright baby, now let’s see if we can’t get those balls in there too.”  She says she opened up a little bit wider and they came together. Nice.

CableGuy mind games



So I have 5 profiles on Ashley Madison.  CableGuy hit on one of my alter egos yesterday.  I couldn’t help myself, I messaged back.  Then he suggests meeting for a drink to see what happens and my evil bitch wheels start turning.  I’m going to go meet him, him thinking he’s meeting someone he doesn’t know and I’ll show up in a blonde wig and we’ll end the night with role play sex.  Can’t wait for Wednesday.  I can’t wait to see the look on his face when I walk in.  *evil grin*

Fantasy dick


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Fantasy Dick:

Blows my mind
Does not have an opinion
Does not deviate from the script
Or ejaculate prematurely
Or go soft
Or talk about his ex
Or not worship me fully
He serves, is focused
Is a keeper
Til we do part
And can go 5 rounds
His dick is perfect size
Is always rock hard
Is not jealous
He don’t trip
Never thinks of himself
Gets off on satisfying me
Talks dirty, makes me feel like a nasty whore but never crosses the line to be crass
Doesn’t lie
Doesn’t play games
Keeps it classy
Gets hard only for me
Makes me cum
Doesn’t go around being everyone’s fantasy
Never starts to make me cum but then misses
Makes sure his ass is clean before I finger fuck him
Never complains about vag/ass  cleanliness
Eats pussy without being asked

Nero “date” #4


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I haven’t fucked Nero since January.  It’s a full-time job saving the planet and all (see previous Nero posts).  Same $200/night hotel on the beach in Southern California.  I brought the lube, he brought the vodka.

He is almost 65 years old.  I am 40.  Our previous 3 dates I have noted performance issues due to his age.  He gets hard, we start in, and he prolongs cumming as long as he can because he knows once he cums, that’s it for the night.  If he can get hard, and good chance he can, he won’t be able to hold the erection until cumming, and he won’t be cumming.  So I’m a down ass bitch and don’t have a problem working with this handicap.  I just need to know what it is I’m working with.  Guys don’t want to tell you about handicaps, and won’t, and have attitude if you bring it up.  I don’t get this.  First of all, WE are in this MUTUALLY beneficial sex relationship.  We both have a short list of needs.  If a guy tells me I’m not meeting his needs in any area of fucking, I factor it in and adjust my game play to meet whatever need.  Guys aren’t shy about stating what they want.  Example:  red lipstick when getting oral or wanting to cum in a specific location or a certain color lingerie.  There’s no ifs ands or butts (sic) about their needs requests.  That’s the way it’s going down.  I think part of why this occurs is the male dominant role thing.  Irregardless, how come I am not afforded the same?  If I like to be fucked hard for 20mins and that’s how I cum, and I’m not getting it, I’m going to say something.  Again, fucking you isn’t beneficial if I don’t cum.  Put the shoe on the other foot….like guys are going to fuck me the way I want, not get their needs met and not cum when I have and I am done.  Like that shit would ever happen.  Anyways….

I walk in the hotel room and he’s trying to start fucking before I’ve taken my sunglasses off.  A little irritating.  Can I have 5 mins to decompress after driving 2 hours to deliver pussy?  I get it, but the entire time he’s like are you ready yet, ready yet, ready yet?

He lays back on the bed and I’m sitting beside him, drinking my drink.  I can tell he’s not fully into our convab and is thinking “ready yet”?  Not yet.  I move over to between his legs and I’m sitting on my knees and rubbing his legs.  Almost, not quite yet.  Alcohol kicks in and I move to straddle him.  I grind back and forth on him and we start in.  I had the best fucking fuck time!  It was 4 hours of fucking and playing until he came.  It was so much fun.

I had been emphasizing how much I enjoy being fingered, and he integrated it in.  He made me squirt/cum from fingering me.  He’s never made me cum before.  Squirting is a new thing for me.  DonJuan started this in me.  First time we fucked he made me squirt twice by fingering me and then 4 times by fucking me.  Seems he’s turned that on in me.  Interesting.

Some highlights:  we just played with each other, the bed, then onto the ottoman, back to the bed, over his knee (omg I love that), gave him oral (which he says I got an A+ for), he fingered me, he sucked on my tits, I fingered him…he loves it!

Lowlight:  he came inside me.  I’ve told him no more cumming in vag but that was like 7 months ago.  But I know he knew he wasn’t supposed to and did anyway cuz he wanted to.  I said “You didn’t just cum inside me did you?”  He says, “Yes I believe that was me that just did that.  Hope you’re not at your fertile time.”  I said, “Actually tomorrow is the start of my fertile time.”  So thus begins period watch June 2015.  I honestly wonder if he’s had vasectomy.  I’d not bet on it though.  I really think he likes to be risky in his sexual adventures.  He gets a thrill out of no condom and cumming inside me.  My fault.  I should have reminded and said it like I meant it.  I will next time for damn sure.

I told him that I know who he is, his real name.  He was shocked!  He had no idea I knew.  I told him I’ve always known, since the first time we texted.  And he still was asking, “You know who I am?”  I said, “Yes, Dr. X.”  He looked no happy.  But after we talked for a while he was totally fine with me knowing his real identity.  I gave him the mom style lecture about being careless when online whoring and money greedy AssMadders knowing who he is.  That they would surely see it as an opportunity.  He agreed and is going to let me hide him and create a new identity for him online.  It occurred to me later that he is going to realize that I know his real age and be embarrassed.  Too fun.

I shouldn’t have to say it but…


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If I text you a picture of my vagina, there is a time limit to you having acceptably replied.  It’s less than 5 minutes dude.  Anything after that shows attitude that is less than respectful and considerate.  5 alarm emergencies happen, but when they occur within the 5 minute time frame of having received before mentioned Vajay pic, a text takes 2 secs to send saying some form of praise for my pussy but you have an emergency and will respond in full asap.  Manners mofos.

Online dating tips and tricks #1


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Tips and Tricks #1:  Both Claudia and I have multiple profiles on Ashley Madison.  Clever biotches that we be.  Many sneaky things to do with a second, third, fourth, fifth profile to one of the dudes that met profile 1.

1.  You can hit on said dude from your alt profile to see if he will “cheat on you.”

2.  If he does the take the bait you can ask him about his experience thus far on AshMad and see if he cries naive virgin.

3.  If he does cop to tapping AshMad ass already, you can ask him how the sex was (with you).

4.  Will he give the alt profile a diff backstory?

5.  Will he use the same pick up lines etc he used on you?

6.  You can peek at his profile without him seeing you, profile #1, viewed his profile.

7.  You can add “Member Feedback” to their profile.  There are options when doing this.  You can add the points to the guy’s profile making him look like a man whore (No longer can he claim virgin status to next woman he is hitting on seeing as how he’s got 8-9 points next to each).  You can selectively check the boxes to reflex a negative trait to the guy.  Example:  You can check all except “Better in person.”  This implies there was disappointment at who the guy was in person versus how he said he was.  You can check all except “Better in person”, “hot to trot” and “salacious.”  This points to someone that was disappointed at who the guy was in person and found him unattractive.  There is also checking everything except “Worth the time.”  Many, many ways to configure the “Member Feedback” to fit your needs to gain control of the ball in this bloodsport, aka “online dating” game.

8.  You can be current status is you are winning at this online dating game seeing as how current status is, you’re one up on him.  This can be vital when your relationship with said guy ends with you feeling like you got played and you’re needing some empowerment.

But beware, you are only going to be hurt when doing this.  He’s IS going to be online chatting with your alt profile when profile #1 messages/emails/texts him and he doesn’t answer because he was so into profile #2, and yes later on he will say he couldn’t respond at that time due to illness, cell phone technical difficulty, needing to care for his elderly mother…

Time to take harem attendance again


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It’s amusing and irritating how when it rains it pours but in between there’s drought.  I know I need to put on my rubbers because it’s raining men when I have to get out the whiteboard so I can keep my AshMad dudes straight.

BossHog – He still can’t keep from peeking at my profile every couple months.  Then I’ll send a message, something humorous, flirty, teasing.  We’ll message back and forth a few times and then we come to the same conclusion.  He thinks it’s not fair to me seeing as how I’m not married and he is.  That it will be a problem.  Whatever.

Nero – Still fucking God’s gift to the planet, aka Albert Einstein, aka he’s considered to be the man who’s about to cure xyz disease.  He still doesn’t know I know who he is, or that he’s really 64, not 50.  We haven’t fucked since January, seeing as he’s a busy boy.  We email in spurts, as the newness is over between us and therefore alt AshMad ass is a priority for both of us.  He’s trying to get me to have a 3some with another AshMad girl.  I don’t know.  We’ll see.  I don’t care to have a 3some just for the sake of having a 3some.  I need to be attracted to the girl or it’s not gonna be a go with me.

CSLewis – Best sex ever still periodically contacts me to fuck but he’s got the attitude issue which is problematic.  Can’t we just respectfully fuck the shit out of each other.  Seems simple.  Why is it not?

CableGuy – See previous blog entry for details.  Current status I have no plans to contact him again.  He’s gonna be on the loser end of our relationship for a moment or two, until I need someone to fuck.  Just keepin’ it real.

DonJuan – This is not an AshMad dude, or online dude period.  He’s had a crush on me for years but I had a bf.  We recently started FWB and hadn’t gotten to the fork in the road of what kind of relationship we wanted from each other.  And now we are on a 3 month pause as the local law enforcement has admitted him for vaca at the local jail.  *sigh*  The dick is awesome though!

And now to the “in-progress” group.  When my dance card is this full I usually let the “in-progress” group fade out.  You have to hit my special spot to endure the “in-progress” phase when ye ol’ dance card is occupado.

ShitKicker – He’s from my home town, 30 miles from me, which caught my attention initially.  Don’t know much about him.  He’s a find.  Last night we first sexted and it was good.  At first he seemed too shy/vanilla but after last nights arousal he’s a contender.

LanMark – Eh.  Pass please.

LatinSpice – He’s my first and only Mexican inquiry.  I used to lust me some green eyed Mexican boys but just find the dominant personality is too much for this independent biotch.  We haven’t sexted and that is a good measure for me if we’d be compatible in bed.  IDK.  We’ll see.

OnceUponATime – He’s my first and only African-American inquiry.  His profile seems more normal and in-line with me that ANY other I’ve read.  I want to see if after I fuck him I’ll never want to go back.  He’s a smarty-pants with badboy left in him he says.  Sweet.

MnM – Dude is 67.  Granted my older married man fantasy is still unfulfilled but 67?  He lives about 3 hours away.  Trying to decide where to file him.

And now that attendance has been taken.  Let’s get down to educating ourselves.  Sit up in your seats boys.

Not friendly and not benefitting me at this point


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Am I only holding on to CableGuy because I want to be the winner?  I know a part of me doesn’t want to let go of a fuck buddy…what if it doesn’t work out with DonJuan?  Then I’ll be fuck buddy-less.  I really think more of the reason is I want him to want me, more than he currently does.  But I don’t want a bf/gf from him so WTF is my problem?  There’s intimacy between us and I don’t know why because he’s a smart, normal guy?

It does piss me off he’s not wanting me more, to fuck me more often, or to move to bf/gf with me.  Again, I’m not wanting bf/gf from him but I want him to want this.  Walking contradiction.

I don’t know where he and I are, or where it will go, or how or when it will end.  Kinda feels like the end is in sight.  Once there is a tiffle things change.  No more romanticized ideal, it’s tainted.

I feel angry at him.  He’s done nothing wrong.  Attitude a little less than gracious but not so bad.

Sex round 1 – then the wait period and he quickly falls asleep.  He says he took cold medicine, but still I’m not feeling worshipped as he’s snoring in his chair.  I need to get over it.  I’m only hurting myself.  I will NEVER get perfect actions from a dude, much less an AshMad ass dude.

CableGuy is egocentric.  He’s smarter than the rest of us and he knows it.  He’s laid back but it’s the laid back kinda passive aggressive that when he flips he’s ruthless and detached about it.

I am just ass to him and I no likey.  But he’s the same to me so why am I not OK with it?  Cuz I’m not winning.  Stupid.

So distance myself from CableGuy and power up, I am leaving CableGuy’s house and going directly to DonJuan’s house.  2 dudes, 1 day.  It’s like you want more after fucking me?  I’ll one up you and leave your house and go directly to bigger dick that lasts longer inside me.  Like this is gonna make it not hurt when I see CableGuy’s logged in to AshMad the next time.

Claudia says…


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Fucked ShrunkHead. He was meh. Had Ed issues & tried not using a rubber. Yeah right mofo. Put a fucking condom on or no pussy. Came twice. He came like Christmas morning. Loud!!!

Lasted 10 minutes of actual sex. Was going soft. Did not want to use a rubber. I am not trying to have a little white kid.

I grab my clothes.  Then I said I got to go I’m late got dressed and left.

He stopped me and gave me a hug and a kiss. I feel like an asshole.

I think this is what guys do. Feel like a guy.

When he finally got a Boner it was good. He’s got a long motherfucker. I think I like long. But it’s missing the hard factor, Which is the deal breaker. LOL

What I don’t understand is how do you guys up without protection. This guy is around sick ass people all day long. He knows better. What the fuck?